what if you wake one day & look in the mirror & realize you aren’t the person you thought you were. what if you realized you left a trail of pain. & destruction. instead of of all the intentions of love, compassion, kindness.
then how do you make things right again. when you can’t.
just like my illness, such things don’t take breaks for holidays. & i can’t fix things i have broken. even as i can’t fix my own brokenness. which is far easier to deal with, even in its severity. because it is mine. because i did not cause it.
there is only sadness. & darkness.