o holy night


i wouldn’t have thought it possible to feel worse this christmas than last year – when newly alone & sinking into deeper illness.  & yet for personal reasons, i am in deep sadness.  even as my illness has stabilized for now.  this silent night feels as unbearable as so many nights have felt since i have become so ill.  just for different reasons.  & now i have to be careful that i don’t relapse.

i will look for the moon.  & i will close my eyes.  & i will pray to become a better person.

“…Fall on your knees O hear the angels voices.
O night divine O night when Christ was born
O night divine, O night, O night divine….”






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