i have been in a serious disease crash for most of the last month, made worse by catching a cold.  just in the last few days i have seen some improvement, but then major cliff falls into the abyss of nothingness/severe symptoms.  i am now at a lower baseline.  sicker than a year ago, sickest since i went severe with ME.   it is causing me to debate whether to even continue blogging.

for now i will continue to recycle old facebook posts & delay the decision for a bit.  but it is clear that my ability to think/read/write/communicate has worsened.  & engaging in those activities sends me into post exertional malaise – a worsening of my symptoms.  if i cannot figure out a way to access or safely communicate, i may have no choice but to retreat into complete silence.

today’s facebook memory:

“You have traveled too fast over false ground.
Now your soul has come to take you back.Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.”

~John O’Donohue


2 thoughts on “silence

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